So I was reading an article in "Glamour" magazine some months ago and there was this list. The list was all about the things that you should know by the time you turn 30. I thought that all I needed to know was what my fake age would be. Apparently, I was wrong. Okay, so I know I've found my career which is super important. I have a good support system so anther check on my list. Then, they said that by 30, a woman should know how she feels about having children. In 4 years of college, we are supposed to know what we want to be for 60+ years an at 30, we should know if we want one or two lines on the stick. If you ask me, that is a bunch of bullshit. When we are searching for our contentment, those of us who really care, it may take a while to establish ourselves. And during this time, the idea of a child may not factor in to the plan. Honestly, I have no idea if I want to have children like ever and I am almost 30. So when I wake up on my birthday, I'll just know? It'll all suddenly be crystal clear? I don't think it works that way. What if by 30 you have not met your soul mate or your web site is your child? Why should I have to know in less than 9 months that I want to grow a baby for 9 months then raise it for 18+ years? Not everyone turns 30 with the same goals and ambitions. Hell, I'll be happy if I wake up with a smile on my face on my 30th birthday. Sheesh...the pressure!
I always loved being the baby in the family mainly because I liked the attention. When I got sick, I liked when my mommy would come check on me... I still like that, especially when I get the flu. Being an only child, looking back, was the only way that I could have probably functioned properly. In any case, as I grew older, I still wanted to be the baby. Not in the "wear the diapers and drink from a bottle" sense but with my mom doting on me. I think even if my parents had not gotten divorced, I'd still have this complex. There's a part in "Overboard" where Katherine Helmond said to her daughter, played by Goldie Hawn that if she had a baby then she wouldn't be the baby. That's exactly how I feel!!! For a while, I thought that I was just like Peter Pan and wanted to be young forever. Thanks to plastic surgery, that is entirely possible. But as I approach 30, I see more and more of my friends getting married and having babies. I also see myself having to up my anti-depressants. Look, I could have been a wife and a mother by now, if that was what I truly had wanted but that was not my path. Instead, I chose to find my passions and focus on developing myself creatively. Yeah, I'd like to get married one day but I still feel like I'm 20 and too young. As far as babies, I don't know if that's the path for me either. After all, today, I asked my boyfriend for a pet tiger; not very practical if you want children in the near future. So who am I? Am I suffering from a Peter Pan complex? Am I a lost "boy?" Or am I just a regular twenty-something girl trying to put the pieces of a confusing puzzle together? Ponder that...
My mom used to take me to Starbucks every Sunday when I was in high school. She'd order a venti drip while I'd always get hot chocolate; the thought of coffee was "ick"-ening to me. Anytime my friends and I had attempted to make coffee prior, we always used lots of milk, chocolate syrup and sugar. Would you like some coffee with your chocolate milk? Now, I wake up at 2a.m. craving the delicious beans that give me the jolt. In college, I would live on Dunkin Donuts iced coffee then specialty drinks when I worked at Starbucks as a barista. For my 29th birthday, my boyfriend bought me a Keurig and without it, I'd be a lost little coffee free puppy. Tonight, I was craving the cafe so much that despite being on cold medicine, I went out to get two flavored creamers and more sweet-n-low so that I could get my fix. I feel so much better now that I have my delicious cup of steaming hot coffee with Peppermint Mocha Coffee Mate, Sweet-n-Low and Fat Free whipped cream. This is like my 4th or 5th cup today. I wish I was still addicted to hot chocolate...
Here I am, consumed about getting older when there are children out there who are lucky to make it to the age of 5. Today in my very own state of CT, a gun man went into a local elementary school and shot over 20 people, mostly children. This makes me stop and think that maybe today, I'll just enjoy the fact that I got to grow up. My parents got to see me ride my bike, go to prom, get a license, graduate college and for that, I am truly grateful. Enjoy today because tomorrow is not guaranteed yet I guarantee I'll be back to ranting about aging again tomorrow. All my prayers and love is with these families at this time. Xoxo.-Mandi
When I was 14, I pierced my own belly button. When I was 15, I pierced my own eyebrow. The entire time I was in high school, I wanted to get my lower lip pierced. I had countless ear holes and a tattoo at 17; all perfectly normal behavior in my mind. Last night, I read a Facebook post by a 14 year old girl whose parents have agreed to let her get her tongue pierced over the weekend. Then I see that she is piercing her own lower belly button because she has the needle. We did not use needles back in my day because safety pins worked just as well; I digress. When I saw this, I immediately thought "what parent in their right mind would day 'yes' to their barely teen child getting their tongue pierced? Want to pierce your ears like crazy, that's fine. Want to go get a belly piercing? That's fine as long as an adult takes you to a reputable place. But a tongue ring at 14? What impression does that give to her peers? Then, I stopped and thought "wow, I sound like an old woman judging this young girl." But I saw the key word: young...RED FLAG. So, when piercings become something that only people 16+ get, does that mean that you are getting old in the way you think or possibly wiser.
*When I was in high school, my dad said if I ever got my tongue pierced, he'd never talk to me again. I waited until I was 24...
I love the fact that I get inspired in the middle of the night. Approximate time: 3:53 a.m. EST and I have edited my website, made decaf coffee and had a Special K chocolate delicious crisp that should be mandatory in every home. I'm thinking of going and getting more but the kitchen is not in my bedroom...damn! So I wonder, when I finally do get married, if that is in the cards for me, will my spouse approve of my nocturnal creative bursts? What if he is deep in sleep then suddenly smells coffee, hears me munching away on Special K goodies then gets annoyed by the tapping of my nails on the laptop?!? I believe Carrie Bradshaw referred to this as "Secret Single Behavior." Even if you have a partner, when you spend nights apart, your SSB just naturally kicks in. Jessica Biel is 30 and just got married; I wonder what her SSB consists of. Furthermore, does hubby Justin Timberlake let her indulge in it? Of course; they probably have 15 rooms in their house so when they want to do their own thing at 3a.m., they can just wander. No Rob Thomas, just because it's 3a.m. does not make me lonely; it makes me a writer.
1983...a year that brought some of the best music from Bonnie Tyler and The Police. It was also the year that I was born along with Kate Bosworth and Mila Kunis. Now that it is almost 2013, our births were great for our families (I'm sure) but numerically, it makes us 30. Therefore, the facts remain the same...1983...a year of great music!
If I was on "Hot in Cleveland" Melanie, Joy and Victoria would tell any woman struggling with getting older, they must take their age and deduct it by 20. Therefore, this evening, thanks to the fabulous writers over at TVLand, I am now 9!
Anyone else getting ready to turn 30, 40 and beyond? Anyone else feel like they are not where they belong at this very moment? Has your life been more of a slip than a slide? I'm right there with you as we approach 2013 aka the year that I turn 30. I feel like I am having a crazy age crisis, which clearly I cannot get sympathy from my 60 year old mom or 90+ grandma. Even my friends in their early thirties laugh at me and the fact that I am so scared to grow up; it's a "get over it" situation.So this is what this blog is dedicated to; finding a way to cope with getting older, growing up and realizing that a number is just a number...a high number but a number. So let's enjoy this ride together. Xoxo. -Mandi
